Fat Ass
Everyone has the part of their body they are the most self conscious of. Mine, interesting, has evolved over time. There was the nose in high school (I should have been more conscious over my big hair, but that's another story,) thin lips in college, and now- my ass.
There are many a fella who would retort this concern, but given that large asses seem to curse the women in my family (sorry mom, and I know, Jessica that you escaped this one) I feel it is in my genes (or shall I say 'jeans') to inherit the extra cargo. To counter my heredity, I exercise quite a bit and try to eat as healthy as possible. But my ass has a mind of its own.
Being a typical chick, I tend to say, "I'm fat" but what I really mean is "I can kill small countries with the seat of my pants." Usually, my friends and family will tell me I am crazy, that I have a perfect JLo butt, that guys like women with a curve, blah blah blah. But not this weekend.
You see, on a family trip with my mom and sister, I happened to mention the A, and my mother actually agreed with me. Can you believe it? She told me that in fact, my ass does look a little larger, at least it did in the pants I wore the other night. HOLY SHIT. Parents don't lie to their kids faces, do they?? I might add that in that same sentence, she also told me that I am completely vain and questioned its root. See, parents don't lie!
Two days later, still on aforementioned family trip, I was on a shuttle bus in a bikini, from the river back to our car (river tubing pictures to come) when I began conversation with the fellow bus riders. There were about 10 of them, family not included, all men. We began chatting with them- where are you from? wow you are drunk (them, not me,) interesting mohawk you have there (again, them, not me.) Turns out they were 22-23. For kicks, I had them guess my age (26) and then proceeded to tell them what it really was (31.) Thanks for the good genes mom, even if it came with an ass!
But the irony of it all is that as I was walking off the bus, one of the guys yelled behind me,"nice ass."
There are many a fella who would retort this concern, but given that large asses seem to curse the women in my family (sorry mom, and I know, Jessica that you escaped this one) I feel it is in my genes (or shall I say 'jeans') to inherit the extra cargo. To counter my heredity, I exercise quite a bit and try to eat as healthy as possible. But my ass has a mind of its own.
Being a typical chick, I tend to say, "I'm fat" but what I really mean is "I can kill small countries with the seat of my pants." Usually, my friends and family will tell me I am crazy, that I have a perfect JLo butt, that guys like women with a curve, blah blah blah. But not this weekend.
You see, on a family trip with my mom and sister, I happened to mention the A, and my mother actually agreed with me. Can you believe it? She told me that in fact, my ass does look a little larger, at least it did in the pants I wore the other night. HOLY SHIT. Parents don't lie to their kids faces, do they?? I might add that in that same sentence, she also told me that I am completely vain and questioned its root. See, parents don't lie!
Two days later, still on aforementioned family trip, I was on a shuttle bus in a bikini, from the river back to our car (river tubing pictures to come) when I began conversation with the fellow bus riders. There were about 10 of them, family not included, all men. We began chatting with them- where are you from? wow you are drunk (them, not me,) interesting mohawk you have there (again, them, not me.) Turns out they were 22-23. For kicks, I had them guess my age (26) and then proceeded to tell them what it really was (31.) Thanks for the good genes mom, even if it came with an ass!
But the irony of it all is that as I was walking off the bus, one of the guys yelled behind me,"nice ass."
posted by Does Debbie @ 11:16 PM
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