Why Men do Have Nipples

So I tend to fly a lot. More specifically, I tend to fly to Minneapolis a lot as my clients are located there. Which means that I spend a good deal of my life on planes.

I am able to make the best of the two and a half hour flight quite easily. The New York Times crossword takes about 20 minutes, about 45 minutes of sleeping or work, depending on how tired I am, a few minutes staring at the window and at my neighbors around me, throw in a little ipod music and then, bam, I've landed.

The other day I decided to mix things up and purchased a book. Now this wasn't just any book that my neighbors might glance at and form an neutral opinion about me- this happened to be the best seller Why Do Men Have Nipples. This book is not just about nipples, sadly. This bathroom reading answers the random health questions you have always wanted to know about. Farting, body parts, food and body party, food, farting and body parts- all there.

Not only did I laugh out loud several times, I think my neighbors were able to see the title of the book. Did they think I was a pre-med student, hopefully? Or perhaps into an unusual form of S&M? Or maybe they thought I was foreign and from a country where men don't have nipples. Who knows. But I can tell you one thing- I am a lot smarter than they are now that I know that it is safer to drink your own urine than sea water. And that you can't technically swallow your tongue.