Women Over 30

Several years ago, Esquire magazine published an article entitled, 30 Things a Man Over 30 Should Never Do. Due to popular demand, one can assume, this topic has since evolved into an Amazon.com bestseller. The ideas were great, and included: experiment with facial hair, help their friends move, and use "party" as a verb. Love it!

At work today, I ran into an older woman wearing pigtails- so wrong! This led to the development of my list:

Things a Woman Over 30 Should Never Do
1. Grow her hair more than 3 inches past her shoulders (and while I'm at at, no pigtails or french braids)
2. Crack up every time she says the word 'masturbate'
3. Buy anything from Claire's Boutique or IKEA
4. Begin to use the phrase "when I was your age..."
5. Do a summer share house with more than 12 people
6. Forget to send cards: birthday, holiday and anniversary
7. Use *76 to prank call ex boyfriends
8. See any movie with Lindsay Lohan
9. Admit to watching the OC
10. Go to a bar with more than 2 other women