No Baby Body
The average age these days for having a kid is around 30. Given that I am almost 33 and have not had a child, I am partly responsible for keeping the average on the higher end. It also means that I am at war with my Body.
Lately, Body has been punishing me for wasting eggs each month. I swear, once a month I wake up with a new gray hair. I feel like Body is screaming, "ha! take that you egg killer!"
Body has also been playing tricks with my hips. Millimeter by millimeter, they have expanded. Showing me just how easy it is to actually have a baby with such wide hips. Same goes for the ass, although I have yet to see the maternal benefit for that one. Boobs, now that's another story...
Body has also been doing something funky to my skin. I never get pimples, and never have. But yet, during that time this month, Body grew a massive mound on my forehead. This time, it was Body saying, "If you're not going to act your age and have kids, then I am going to make you look like a kid. Here, have some acne!"
I think it's time for a truce, although I'm not sure what I can offer. You think if I send Sally Struthers a check that might work?
Lately, Body has been punishing me for wasting eggs each month. I swear, once a month I wake up with a new gray hair. I feel like Body is screaming, "ha! take that you egg killer!"
Body has also been playing tricks with my hips. Millimeter by millimeter, they have expanded. Showing me just how easy it is to actually have a baby with such wide hips. Same goes for the ass, although I have yet to see the maternal benefit for that one. Boobs, now that's another story...
Body has also been doing something funky to my skin. I never get pimples, and never have. But yet, during that time this month, Body grew a massive mound on my forehead. This time, it was Body saying, "If you're not going to act your age and have kids, then I am going to make you look like a kid. Here, have some acne!"
I think it's time for a truce, although I'm not sure what I can offer. You think if I send Sally Struthers a check that might work?
posted by Does Debbie @ 2:10 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:23 PM,
Tracy said…
I feel your pain! 33, no baby yet, and it takes me twice as long these days to get back in shape. And I'm much more tired than I ever was before. It's like my body has turned against me, yet I have no excuse for being out of shape and exhausted. Most people can blame in on their kids. Blaming it on lack of kids just doesn't work!
At 2:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
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