Does Debbie

Monday, May 01, 2006

Thin Walls

So the walls in my building are very thin. Beyond extremely annoying thin. More than once have I had to write notes to my neighbor upstairs, gently reminding them that by law 80% of their apartment needs to be carpeted (I have a selective memory of that law when it comes to my apartment, however.) Once, it almost ended up in court. But that's another story.

Usually, the noise projected from other apartments is limited in range. Wood creaking floors. Muffled TV or radio. Giggling. And then there was last night.

It began around 11:30. A steady banging. Too quiet to be a hammer. Too consistent to be someone cheering during the NBA play-offs. And then it hit me: one of my neighbors was getting laid.

A couple lives next door on my left so it could be them. On the right- a guy with a girlfriend. No idea who actually lives above me, so that was an option. Fortunately, I know the woman below me is about 76, so that lowers the odds slightly. I stuck my ears to the walls. I couldn't tell who it was.

It quickly became 11:42 and the banging was still in full force. Deductive reasoning- the couple on my left is younger than the guy to my right. 12 minutes of consistent floor rocking sex- as a betting woman, I went All-In on them.

At 11:44 it stopped. Climax, finally, I assumed. I was wrong. Four minutes later it resumed again. Ok, this was weird. Too soon, right? This was getting weird. Starting and stopping. It quickly became mid-night. I was tired, I needed sleep. I couldn't take this anymore.

"FINISH ALREADY!!!!," escaped from my lips. Ha! Take that, horny neighbors!!

Then I passed out.

3 Comments:

  • At 9:06 AM, Blogger Colleen said…

    If only 'it' was that house rockin at my house...lol!

    Is it really a LAW to have 80% of apartments carpeted???

     
  • At 10:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
    »

     
  • At 2:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I really enjoyed looking at your site, I found it very helpful indeed, keep up the good work.
    »

     

Post a Comment

<< Home