Debbie vs. Tonic

Anyone who lives in my neighborhood probably knows that they opened Tonic East on the corner of 29th and 3rd (my block, unfortunately.) Under most circumstances, I would be thrilled to have a local pub to watch the Ravens on Sundays, or to order Frangelica on the rocks from a nice Irish man named Sean. But this is not the case.

Tonic East has three levels, including a roofbar. They are opened every day (including Sundays) until 4am. They play very loud music on obnoxiously loud stereos and have wall to wall flat-screen TVs and open windows. They probably have over 30,000 square feet under the roof.

They opened today, and Jennifer Lopez greeted me when I turned the corner, belting out All my Love. Honestly, I did not want her love. I do not want my block turning into a mecca for post-college Sigma Chis.

I had an idea: sneaking mice into the place. That ought to shut it down. Or what about putting a toe nail in a salad? Maybe I could "fall" walking to the bathroom. I could also call the cops if it gets too loud, but I think I just turned into my grandma. Geez, am I old or what?