Babies on the Brain

I had the weirdest dream Friday night: I gave birth to triplets.

It gets worse. I don't think there was a father in the picture. And the part of the dream that is still crystal clear a few days later is me searching all over town for a stroller. Actually, I think I was looking for two strollers, as I didn't know how to take all three of the babies out at once.

Any psychologist would probably call the dream an easy one to interpret: I have fears of becoming a single mom, having to take fertility drugs when I decide to raise a family on my own at age 39 or 40.

But that is my sub-conscious fucking with me. Consciously, I believe that I will get married and have children with a father in the picture, although I better solve my relationship issues pretty damn soon. Granted, most likely I will be on the instant-family track, like New York Magazine wrote about a few weeks ago. People who go from first date to kid in 18 months or so. Maybe I'll follow the latest trend and get pregnant before I get married. There is something so hippy-ish about that.

Any good friend, or therapist would tell me to not be vocal about my family plan while dating, to not scare the guy away. I am pretty honest about it, but in a sarcastic way. That seems to work. For example, once The Date joked, pre-coitally about needing condoms so I wasn't accidentally put in a "conflicting situation" to which I responded dead-pan, "oh, there's no conflict." The look on his face was great!

At this point, I don't think a baby would fit in my studio apartment. I'll have to re-evaluate the situation next year. : )