Merry Fuckin' Christmas

It's a good thing I don't celebrate Christmas, or I would have been sorely disappointed with what Santa brought me: a run-in with The Man on Christmas Eve. Yup, after five months, our first encounter was with a hundred of our fellow Jews at a Christmas Eve benefit (the money went towards Autism.) While we had exchanged emails once or twice, the in-person meeting was much harder than I expected. It was bittersweet. Of course, a hot, smelly bar with people banging into you is not the ideal environment to connect, but it could have been worse: one of us could have been with a date. Or been cold to the other.

Seeing him brought back so many feelings; so many memories. We both care so much about the other person- that was obvious. But nothing changed, and I awoke this morning knowing that I need to move forward. I need to be with someone who wants to move forward.

But for now, I'm hanging with my girlfriends. Off to see Dreamgirls. Merry Christmas!