Payback is a Bitch
So Sunday morning, around 10:30, my best friend from high school, Kim, drove into the city to meet me for brunch. I was planning to go see an apartment around noon, and was looking forward to a quick bite with my dear friend. Kim called as she was approaching my building, telling me she was looking for parking and would be up in a sec.
Thirty minutes later, Kim had still not found a parking spot. Amazingly, she was still calm (she's not a New Yorker), but I was growing increasingly frustrated. I offered to go downstairs and help her look for a spot. Within seconds of exiting my apartment, I found a beautiful, vacant space on 3rd Avenue. Immediately, I jumped into the street, stood in the spot and dialed Kim with the exciting news. She was less than half a block from the spot. We were in luck!
As you probably already guessed, before I could look up to thank the parking gods, a livery car practically plowed me down. "You can't save spots," he gruffly yelled. I pleaded very nicely with the man, pointing to Kim's car, which had since approached, and asking him to please find another spot. His kindness was as strong as his English.
"Sir, please. My friend is behind you. Can you please find another spot?" (no.) "I'm saving this spot, my friend is right behind." (no.) "Sir, can you please not be an asshole?" I knew with that last word that any chances of him abandoning the spot vanished. But it felt so good to use a bad word.
"What did you just say? What was that word?" he barked back.
"I asked you to please not be an asshole and to let us have the spot." By this point, he had successfully maneuvered into the spot and put the car into park.
"You know what, you are an asshole" I uttered, and walked away.
Kim seemed amused by the interaction, a counter to my frustration. But rather than immediately search for another spot, Kim had another solution. She circled the block once, pulled over, put the car in park, and whipped out a pad of lined paper. With a black ballpoint pen, she instructed me to write NOT NICE : ( in large, scrawled ink. She then took the piece of paper, and covered each of the letters with thick pink lip gloss. I think it even smelled like bubble gum.
Kim darted out of her car, ran over to the livery cab, and stuck the sticky, oily vindication on his windshield. She walked calmly back to the car, and gave me her best McDreamy wink.
Revenge has never tasted sweeter. (it didn't help out parking situation unfortunately. We drove downtown and it took us another thirty minutes to find a spot. Oh well.)
Thirty minutes later, Kim had still not found a parking spot. Amazingly, she was still calm (she's not a New Yorker), but I was growing increasingly frustrated. I offered to go downstairs and help her look for a spot. Within seconds of exiting my apartment, I found a beautiful, vacant space on 3rd Avenue. Immediately, I jumped into the street, stood in the spot and dialed Kim with the exciting news. She was less than half a block from the spot. We were in luck!
As you probably already guessed, before I could look up to thank the parking gods, a livery car practically plowed me down. "You can't save spots," he gruffly yelled. I pleaded very nicely with the man, pointing to Kim's car, which had since approached, and asking him to please find another spot. His kindness was as strong as his English.
"Sir, please. My friend is behind you. Can you please find another spot?" (no.) "I'm saving this spot, my friend is right behind." (no.) "Sir, can you please not be an asshole?" I knew with that last word that any chances of him abandoning the spot vanished. But it felt so good to use a bad word.
"What did you just say? What was that word?" he barked back.
"I asked you to please not be an asshole and to let us have the spot." By this point, he had successfully maneuvered into the spot and put the car into park.
"You know what, you are an asshole" I uttered, and walked away.
Kim seemed amused by the interaction, a counter to my frustration. But rather than immediately search for another spot, Kim had another solution. She circled the block once, pulled over, put the car in park, and whipped out a pad of lined paper. With a black ballpoint pen, she instructed me to write NOT NICE : ( in large, scrawled ink. She then took the piece of paper, and covered each of the letters with thick pink lip gloss. I think it even smelled like bubble gum.
Kim darted out of her car, ran over to the livery cab, and stuck the sticky, oily vindication on his windshield. She walked calmly back to the car, and gave me her best McDreamy wink.
Revenge has never tasted sweeter. (it didn't help out parking situation unfortunately. We drove downtown and it took us another thirty minutes to find a spot. Oh well.)
posted by Does Debbie @ 9:29 PM
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