Acting

So last night I saw the new Broadway play with Liev Schreiber, Talk Radio. The show is still in previews and I hope following its official opening March 11th, it gets rave reviews. Or at least he does. Besides the annoying man in front of me who kept shifting his head from the left to the right, it was an enjoyable evening. And Joan Rivers was seated across the aisle from us, so it is always fun to see a living, walking piece of plastic.

Watching Liev act so brilliantly on stage got me thinking about my own, unfortunate ability to act. To encompass an emotion so foreign to my natural state. Like confidence. Right now, my confidence is flushed down the toilet and swimming in the Hudson. Pathetically, I am not strong enough to have the confidence to know, to feel that I am a smart, pretty, funny chick with a great job and great friends. I kinda feel crappy. Ugly. That I'm never going to fall in love again. That I'm not lovable.

I hate that my confidence is knit so tightly with my status of being in a relationship. I need to be single and happy. But it's not about being happy and fulfilled alone- I genuinely enjoy my life and the way I fill my days. I just forgot what it's like to feel secure with me. I'm trying.