Off the Wagon

I fell off the wagon today. I caved and went on another jdate. He was cute, with the slightest dimples when the smiled, with dark hair and eyes, like me. Perhaps it is narcissistic, or just weird, but I prefer guys that also have dark hair and dark eyes. The more someone would think we were brother and sister, the better.

Anyway, this particular date and I had broken the cardinal rule of internet dating: we foreplayed our meeting. Meaning- we emailed, which led to frequent IMing, and then a one-hour phone conversation. We flirted, took the conversation in many different directions, and built up hope. We should have kept the chit chat short and just made a plan to meet.

Physically, our date was all that I could have hoped. I wanted to lick the Mimosa off his lips. I secretly hoped he would pin me against a building as we left the restaurant, and kiss me passionately (clearly this chick is in a dry spout!)

Unfortunately, this date was scum. He asked about my "shaving," stared at my tits, and told me repeatedly how horny he was. He told me he had masturbated this morning. When I joked about him coming to a wedding with me, he held it contingent on my "talent" in a certain area of bed. He might have been kidding, but he was cruder than Andrew Dice Clay.

Seriously, can it get any worse??