Wandering Eyes
I think I have a new dating pet peeve: when the guy has atrocious eye contact. Surprisingly, I am not referring to a jaw-dropping gaze at a passing woman with tits falling out of her too-tight tank top. That shit doesn't irk me. Rather, I am in awe at the number of men that are not able to balance between looking at me during the date with looking to the right, left, top, and bottom of me. It's all about eye contact.
Granted, eye contact is weird. Especially in a conversation between two people. When you stare into their eyes for too long, it's creepy, and if you barely look at them, it's cold and distant. This interaction is not just with dating. Eye contact balance is required at work, with odd family members, and in random business situations. Conversations with close friends don't fall into this category as who gives a shit if you stare at your friend. They'll call you a loser and then move on.
Anyway, back to dating. So I was out on a jdate recently and all was fine. The drinks and food were good and the conversation was engaging. I wasn't really attracted to him, but that wasn't the bad part. His eye contact ratio was only 1:4. Meaning he looked at me one second for every four seconds he spent staring at the kitchen in the back of the restaurant. Sure, he could have not wanted to look at me, but I really looked cute that night. I literally watched his eyes looking away while telling me about how he got his father to open up about his deceased brother.
Another guy, about five years ago, stared out the window the entire conversation. His eye contact ratio was about 1:9. I called him out on it and ended the date early.
So you might wonder what is good eye contact? 5:2. Look at me for five seconds, then blink away. Or glimpse at the menu. Or the door. Hell, look at the cleavage on the woman next to me, but only for two seconds. That's all she gets.
What do you all think?
Granted, eye contact is weird. Especially in a conversation between two people. When you stare into their eyes for too long, it's creepy, and if you barely look at them, it's cold and distant. This interaction is not just with dating. Eye contact balance is required at work, with odd family members, and in random business situations. Conversations with close friends don't fall into this category as who gives a shit if you stare at your friend. They'll call you a loser and then move on.
Anyway, back to dating. So I was out on a jdate recently and all was fine. The drinks and food were good and the conversation was engaging. I wasn't really attracted to him, but that wasn't the bad part. His eye contact ratio was only 1:4. Meaning he looked at me one second for every four seconds he spent staring at the kitchen in the back of the restaurant. Sure, he could have not wanted to look at me, but I really looked cute that night. I literally watched his eyes looking away while telling me about how he got his father to open up about his deceased brother.
Another guy, about five years ago, stared out the window the entire conversation. His eye contact ratio was about 1:9. I called him out on it and ended the date early.
So you might wonder what is good eye contact? 5:2. Look at me for five seconds, then blink away. Or glimpse at the menu. Or the door. Hell, look at the cleavage on the woman next to me, but only for two seconds. That's all she gets.
What do you all think?
posted by Does Debbie @ 10:49 PM
2 Comments:
At 6:25 PM,
Paige Jennifer said…
I think I'm laughing too hard at this ratio concept to properly comment. Were you a consultant in a past life?
By the way, we've never met. I've never seen a picture of you. But I'm sure you're cute regardless of the night. The inner workings of a kitchen should only be a distraction for your date if you're dining side by side at a counter in full view of the kitchen.
At 4:09 PM,
minijonb said…
I love the ratio idea. I try to keep good eye contact when on a date, but I'm easily distracted. I'll have to remember that 5:2 rule.
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