Jewelry and Condoms

Pezguy420: Do you wear red/orange ever?
Me: not really
Me: why, are you setting me up with Ronald McDonald?
Pezguy420: I was thinking about it... but I heard the Hamburgler gives great cunnilingus, so I may send him your way instead.
Pezguy420: Any preference?
Pezguy420: Unless you're into purple - I heard Grimmus has a thick schlong
Me: I LOVE grimmus
Pezguy420: You will after he gets done with you
Pezguy420: Bowlegged for a week, from what I hear
Pezguy420: The reason I was asking about red... did I tell you my latest hobby?
Me: yes, knitting
Pezguy420: Well, I'll knit you a giant red/orange condom out of yarn for when you get it on with Grimmus
Me: nice
Pezguy420: (Don't worry - there's spermicidal agent interwoven in the thread)
Me: no, what is your hobby?
Pezguy420: Well.... this is going to probably push me over the straight/gay line into Greg Louganis land
Me: ok.... TELL
Pezguy420: I am starting to design jewelry
Me: SHUT UP
Pezguy420: So I ordered you a stone from South America
Me: sounds great
Pezguy420: So I am making some stuff for some friends
Me: very very cool Elton
Pezguy420: lol