Does Debbie

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Control

My issue with control is not a new one. From my early childhood fears of throwing up (a fear rooted in control) to being the first born older-sister aka the bossy one to never getting totally wasted, I have always exhibited my sense of control.

Sure, there are certain things I just can't control. Like farting after eating too much broccoli, or the weather on vacation. And I deal accordingly.

But what is the most annoying is realizing my power to change my life in so many ways, but unable to control the one piece I crave the most. I know, I know, how nauseating- another post about dating and finding someone, but bear with me. In 2007 I decided I wanted to overhaul my life: new job and new apartment to boot. Within three months I accomplished exactly what I set out to do, and feel super proud about my determination and subsequent success.

On the other hand, that same passion and goal setting results in zip, zada, zilch on the love front. I am powerless and I'm not in control. And frankly, it sucks. I want someone to break in my new apartment with, and to tell about how great my new job is. To explore the numerous restaurants with me in my new neighborhood. To go for runs with in the park on the weekends. To share the joy and happiness I have in my life right now.

1 Comments:

  • At 3:52 PM, Anonymous Fdot said…

    so get a dog...

     

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