Does Debbie

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Grossed Out

So here I am in Minneapolis. Make that 14 fucking degrees Minneapolis.

Fortunately I am at the nice hotel again with the 42' plasma TV and yummy bed. The hotel room also happens to have a jacuzzi tub with a flat screen TV on the wall behind it. So after a long day of flying, client meetings, and a huge-ass dinner with co-workers, I thought a jacuzzi would be just the treat I needed.

I filled the tub, turned on Sex and the City, and sent my man a text wishing he was there. Ahhh, I was relaxing. And then it happened:

Within 3 minutes of sitting there, my cell phone rang. Worse, it was my boss, who happens to be in Minneapolis with me. Under normal circumstances I would immediately hit Ignore on the phone and wish this memory away. However, we had an early morning client meeting and I had a feeling this call was timely.

I turned off the jets as quickly as I could and grabbed the phone. And then, unfortunately, spent 4 too many minutes on the phone with him, naked in the tub.

I have never been more grossed out in my life.

Monday, November 28, 2005

My Thanksgiving Break

So, I thought that my Thanksgiving vacation would go off without a hitch. You know, I'd eat some turkey, play a few games of SCRABBLE with the family, sleep. I expected the usual suspects to attend Thanksgiving dinner: grandma, sis, aunts, uncles, mom and step-dad.

Fortunately for you, it didn't. I guess the best way to re-cap this story called my life, is to go in chronological order.

Wednesday: Took the train home in 2 hours and 20 minutes to Baltimore. Wow, new non-Acela record.

Thursday: My mom invited over one of her younger co-workers and her husband. They were 27 years old and Mormons. Loved it. The conversation turned to Mormon missions and the guidelines they live by: no caffeine, no alcohol, no curse words. Enough said. But since she reads my blog, I do want to say that they were an adorable couple. And yes, she is his only wife. Polygamy is banned from Mornomisn, as you should know.

Thursday got even more interesting when my step-sister brought a recent war vet to dinner as his family was displaced in NoLa from Katrina. That went well, until my uncle told an amputee joke.

Friday: Found out that my friend who has dated a fireman and her cable guy is now dating a stripper.

Saturday: Ran into my high school prom date at a baby naming. I think he's gay. Actually, I should say that I thought he was gay 14 years ago, and I was not convinced otherwise when I saw him.

Sunday: Was awoken by my dad asking what the hell happened to his car, as his bumper was all scratched. Deja Vu. I replayed the entire weekend in my mind and was completely unable to recall hitting another car, a pole, a homeless woman, or any other object that would cause a big black scratch on my dad's smooth silver bumper.

Sunday late morning: Grandma's 80th birtday party. Loved the fact that her sister got her a $100 gift certificate to JC Penneys. I didn't even know they were still around. And for the record, my sister and I got her a cashmere scarf and gloves.

Sunday night: Took the train back. It was a commuter train, which meant there was no place to put your tickets and no way to know just who gave their ticket to the conductor. So I'm sure that someone must have gotten a free ride from Amtrak. I wonder who?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Small Rant

It's Wednesday and I'm hung over. Correct, it's Thursday. (proof of my hangover.) Last night was my bi-weekly Mexican Wednesday, which consists of a growing number of friends going out for Mexican food at various joints throughout the city. This was dinner #6 or so since we started.

Ok, back to the hangover. I was convinced that I had a 9am meeting at work this morning, so waking up at 8:07 was not helping me with the goal. So as I was quickly rinsing off my body, I planned the outfit- jeans and sneakers, of course.

I made it to work at 8:58, only to learn that my 9am meeting was actually 9:30am. In those situations, is one happy they had more time in the morning to surf the net, or are they pissed they woke up 27 minutes too early? I am on the fence with this one.

Then, I learned that my 3:30 conference call was actually not a conference call but an in-person meeting. Shit, my casual outfit backfired. I was presented with the option of going home to change or dialing in to the meeting. I chose the latter. : )

Finally, I realized, almost startlingly, that I have yet to make my Slamtrak reservations for T'giving. After entering in the info online, I began to stare at my screen. I saw weird numbers. Like $160. And $103. Wow, did Amtrak lower their rates? $103 for a round-trip ticket? Yippee! Boy was I wrong on that one. The price, sadly, was one-way.

So I get to spend $206 to spend 4 days getting fat and telling my parents that I am not getting married yet. Good times.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Later Rite Aid

Rite Aid- you've been beaten. I truly thought you employed the stupidest people in NYC- worse than Duane Reade. And you have been outdumbed. And to whom might you ask?

AMC Movie Theater on 23rd street.

If I wasn't there myself, I would never believe it. You see, my friend Shana and I had just seen Bee Season (sucked) and took advantage of the movie stub to see Derailed (much better.) Before the movie began, however, we decided to grab a hearty dinner of pretzels/nacho cheese and water. Actually, I had eaten popcorn in Bee Season, so this was Shana's dinner. I was just snacking on water.

As we went to pay, Shana pulled out her credit card. But the credit card machine was not working. The woman behind the counter spent a good 7 minutes trying to get it to work, and trying the card on other machines. Meanwhile, Shana was chowing down on her stale pretzel bites and I was hydrating. No luck. The woman asked if we had cash, and sadly, we did not have enough to cover. But we had plastic!

The woman behind the counter was in a flux. She couldn't charge us. We couldn't pay. And she was going to be held accountable. We felt bad- we tried to pay. What to do? Dumb woman then called her manager and was told that since the credit card machine was not working- we would not be able to keep to food and drinks. Yes, even though the food and drink had been consumed, we needed to return it.

So Shana and I stood next to the counter, ate a few more pretzel bites and drank almost all of our water (we saved a few sips.) Then we left the containers on the counter and walked away. We followed the rules.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Funeral for a Friend

I am in mourning today. Actually, I have been in mourning for the past week. Someone very close to me died. I can't say it was sudden- there was a slow, gradual decline in behavior. In the days leading up to his death, there was a definite weakening.

He brought me much pleasure. More than most people in the world, and definitely more consistently. He was there whenever I needed him- morning or night, weekday or weekend. He calmed me down with the constant hum in his voice. I had known him for years. 4 to be exact. His presence in my life was a present.


Friends, I am sad to say, that my rabbit has died.

Yes, that one.

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Crap. I haven't written an entry in over two weeks. I don't think it matters much to anyone but my sister and my friend Shira, the only two people who read this thing. But it matters to me. Again, I am showing examples of starting something and not finishing it. And to make matters worse, my friend Scott's blog is increasing in popularity by the day (shit, there arises another character flaw- an evil sense of competition.)

Aha! I got it. This should make you laugh- my Halloween costume. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.